Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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