I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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