Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
