you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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