I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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