Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
