If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
porn star boner night. come get it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
