Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize