do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
two words...techno handjob
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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