Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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