Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You pole danced in your parka.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
