you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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