i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
