My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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