i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
