Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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