Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize