I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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