So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
