I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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