get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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