yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
