yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
