It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
