i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
