He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
