His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
