her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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