I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
