at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
