Dual....:-)
It was confusing and full of hummus
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
