I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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