Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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