she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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