do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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