Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
