I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
