whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Boobs are out for the taking
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
