ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
