I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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