We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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