they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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