my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
