the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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