Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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