idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
