dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
we should paint friendship bongs
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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