fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
