you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
