it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
