Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
