is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
