you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
