she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
