Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
