I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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