how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
