I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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