I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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