Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
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