is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
