Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
