they need to just BURY HIM!
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
