She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
