she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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